I looked at my calendar and it turns out my depression isn’t scheduled for today, or even for the time being. This, despite my decision to stop taking, cold turkey and against some medical advice, a few little white pills every night. I’m still taking the blue ones when I wake up, but I’m finished with the whities. They were nothing but trouble.

In case you don’t remember, these are the same little white pills that gave Dr. J. pause a few weeks back. I’ve struggled with depression for years, and he was concerned I’d be cutting off a potential lifeline by having the gastric bypass. Due to the mal-absorption properties of the bypass, it’d be difficult and maybe a little dangerous to swallow the white ones post-op.

But upon research and reflection, it turns out that the dangers of taking the whities post-op aren’t as great as we originally thought. That’s assuming I ever need them again. Some of my health care folks think that’s unlikely, since it isn’t even clear whether they did much in the first place. It’s the blue pills that helped most. I’m willing to take the risk, as is Dr. J., so I’m having the bypass May 10.

Oy, the drama. This is worse than buying a new car. Nothing is certain until Dr. J. picks up his knife and cuts

My sister, Andrea Scotting, is a food-obsessed nut, but I love her anyway. She talks about food ALL THE TIME. Drives me nuts. She knows the intimate details of Julia Child’s famously complicated recipe for boeuf bourguignon, and the fundamental distinctions between Indian favorites chicken tikka masala and chicken korma (they taste the same to me). I don’t know much about food. Apparently I care about it, since I’m a large guy and I clearly eat lots of it. But talk about it? Nah. My mouth is usually too full.

I’m happy, however, to discuss the intricacies of the pre-WLS liquid diet, which I started today.

I’m at my pre-op appointment with anesthesia. I hate anesthesia. Even more, I hate that they are using antediluvian, crash-prone Windows computers. I’m a Mac guy.

I hope they don’t use these in the OR. Need to remember to sneak in my iPhone just in case.

Eeekkk!!!