I’m at our local YMCA (next door to the McDonald’s Devil no less), in the kids gym with my son Ari, for his friend Aaron’s 4th birthday party. There are a bunch of little ones playing ‘Alligator Under The Parachute,’ which mostly seems to involve waving a large round canvas up and down and darting under it as it flutters to the floor. Lots of laughs.

Wish I had a camera with me to capture my little guy. But it’s at home, not exactly forgotten, but not remembered either.

We are blessed to have a nice home, especially in these tough economic times. Sure, we’ve had our share of setbacks like everyone else, but we’ve never missed a mortgage payment. The old house is too important to us. It’s a typical New England colonial, with a brick front and dated vinyl siding, about 75-years-old, two stories plus a decent finished basement. It’s falling apart here and there, but the kids have beautiful, light-filled rooms, and it’s warm in the winter, cool in the summer heat. My problem with the house is the basement, and the two stories above it. More properly, it’s with the stairways that connect the floors.

I can never decide what’s creakier – those old stairs or my beat-up knees. I don’t have the camera to take snaps of Ari and his friends because it would’ve hurt too much to grab it off my basement desk. Wasn’t even a conscious decision, really. I just don’t go up or down if I can avoid it.

I guess I’ll have to be content with the memory or Ari trying to cross the balance beam for the first time, or of him in a party hat clapping as his best buddy blew out his birthday candles.

I really hate this shit. Forty-four days until surgery.

No, not with a chick. Already have one of those. A surgery date.

May 10, 2010. Gastric bypass.

Seems so simple – Dr. J replumbs my gut, I drop a few bad habits and within 12-18 months I lose maybe 100 pounds. What could be easier?

Not.

Gonna need lots of Valium as this gets closer.

No, Dear Reader, I haven’t borrowed Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak or Captain Kirk’s cloaking device. I’ve been gone for a little while. Not by choice, but by medical requirement, for several weeks and with barely a word to you. I’m sorry.

Here’s what happened:

Last December I slipped two discs in my neck. Actually, and more precisely, a numb arm led my amazing doctor, Michele, to the realization that I’d slipped two discs sometime in the past. Could have been 10 years ago, when I crashed my father-in-law’s motorcycle. I didn’t even know they were slipped (more properly, herniated) since they hadn’t given me any trouble whatsoever. After a series of evaluations and MRIs, Michele hooked me up with a great pain management specialist, Dr. J.P.

The answer, Dr. J.P. said, was a series of 3 steroid shots in my neck in the O.R., with the help of a Fluoroscope – basically a live x-ray that would help her see how to guide the needle. I had three shots over about 2 months. The first two were fine and my neck felt dramatically better. But the third went haywire. A common complication – the possibility of which Dr. J.P. and I had discussed – left me with something called a Spinal Headache. Imagine a large boulder. Put it on your head. Leave it there. Spin in circles.

I spent a week in the hospital and another 10 days or so recovering. It wasn’t a fun experience, but I’m doing fine now. I owe a huge thanks to Drs. J.P. and Michele for getting me back on my feet!

I’m looking forward to getting back on track for my upcoming weight loss surgery. I’ve been catching up on my writing and I should be posting regularly again. Thanks for continuing to read BigFatMike while I was gone. Oh, I’m down about 10 pounds too.

By the way, my neck feels great.