I’ve got this amazing wife. She’s brilliant, totally attractive in the ‘hot Jewish chick’ way I love, warm, kind, caring, hilarious. She’s my best friend. But on a cold, rainy night about 15 years ago, when I called from a payphone at 2 a.m. to say I was absolutely nuts about her, I also did something terrible. I caused her biggest fear – that I’m going to suddenly drop dead, long before my time, leaving her alone to raise our two incredible kids.

My wife’s a doc, actually. She knows better than anyone the negative effects of obesity. Intellectually, she knows about the high blood pressure, the diabetes, the cardiac disease and all the other ills the obese suffer (luckily at 40, I’ve got none of these just yet). She also knows about all the horrible things that can go wrong in surgery. She knows that the complications of obesity far outweigh the risks of surgery, and of living with WLS. Still, she’s terrified about the procedure. And terrified about what could – will – happen if I don’t have it.

My point is that, like smoking, drinking and drugs, obesity affects not only the victim, but the victim’s family as well. If I have a brain-blowing stroke and end up pushing daisies, my kids won’t have their father. They won’t have me to help with their homework and to tuck them in every night. My shoulder won’t be there for them to cry on, and they won’t know of my utter excitement over all their achievements. My wife will lie alone in our bed every night, wondering if she’ll ever find a way to be happy again. My dog will pine for me.

The trap of obesity – of all eating disorders – is that the drug addicts crave is the same one needed to fuel and sustain their life. I’ve tried for at least 30 years to stop eating the way I eat. But I can’t. Even the knowledge that with every bite I’m hurting those I love most doesn’t slow me down. That’s why I need radical (read: surgical) intervention.

Weight Watchers slogan for their new men’s product: “Eat like a man. Not like a rabbit.”

I saw this on the Washington Post website, next to a story about Michelle Obama’s initiative to stop childhood obesity. There was a picture of a big, manly grilled steak in the ad. So, on the one hand the First Lady is telling us to eat healthy and set a better example for our kids. On the other hand, the supposed weight loss experts are telling us we need a slab of red meat to feel manly. Isn’t the first lady growing rabbit food in her White House vegetable garden? Isn’t the meat part of the problem?

I’m confused.

I need some new pants. Got to head over to the mall and pick a few things out. Get a pair or two hemmed and I’m set. Right? Bullshit.

Right-sized folks don’t have to worry much about whether they can find clothes that fit both their body and budget. Their choices are pretty much limitless. Between the mall, a few high-end boutiques and even a discount store, the average normal-BMI-individual can pretty much put together a whole wardrobe. Not me.

I haven’t bought anything at a department store in years. High-end men’s shops? Forget it. Even the XXL shirts at the big-box discounters that target middle American waistlines don’t fit me.  There are three, maybe four places where I can buy clothes around Boston. Big and Tall stores. Ugh.

The name itself it cutting – Big and Tall, as in ‘Hey, bud, you don’t fit in (no pun intended), so you need your own special store.’ They hold me hostage with limited choices and crazy prices. Want a pair of Levi’s? $105. An off-the-rack, middling quality business suit? A grand-and-a-half.

The other choice is the internet. But if you buy something online, it still needs alterations. Most tailors don’t know that when they shorten pants for a fat guy, they need to taper the leg slightly to avoid a bell-bottom look. They also may need to lift the crotch a bit and maybe add a belt loop or two at the back, to stop the material from bunching. There’s no simple tailoring for a big man.

It doesn’t end there. You wear the new slacks out with friends and get a few compliments. Then the inevitable question – “Where are those from?” No malice intended, just genuine interest, because they are nice pants and the friends likes the material. Maybe he’d like a similar pair for himself. I never know how to answer.

Data recently released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says the obesity rate in the U.S. is leveling off. Sounds like a good thing, until you learn that 34% of adults in the country are obese, along with 17% of children. That’s a huge number of people who need to get dressed every morning – so why aren’t there more and better clothing stores for us?

The whole thing gives me agita.