The Greatest Cookie of All-Time

Mallomars are controlling, manipulative cookies. I’ve been staring at the empty box for a while now, trying to understand. It’s a weird box, bright yellow, with the word ‘Mallomars’ spelled out in blue and white fluffy, cloudlike glory. But that’s not what gets you. It’s the image of the cookie. Dark chocolate pours perfectly over a shining marshmallow, flowing evenly over the top and down the sides to the graham cracker base. The creepy part is the missing bite. It’s a perfect partial ellipse, with nary a crumb or tooth mark. The bite looks to have been surgically excised, leaving a smiling cookie offering you its high fructose corn syrup happiness. ‘Eat me,’ it says. ‘You’ll feel so good.’

So I did.

The whole box.

For lunch.

This is why my relationship with food needs to change. This is why I need to have my gut replumbed and my brain rewired.


3 thoughts on “The Greatest Cookie of All-Time

  1. Dear BigFatMike,

    Unfortunately, only your intestines get replumbed. Your brain does not get rewired. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could do both . . .

  2. i’m not sure eating a box of mallomars means you need to have your brain rewired. they’re mallomars. perfect, fluffy, satisfying deliciousness. if you ate a whole box of hydrox…well, then we’d need to talk.

  3. Hey don’t beat yourself up any longer…we have all been there – just pull yourself together and start fresh tomorrow – we always crawl before we walk.

    I know it is alot of mind over matter, and sometimes the mind defeats us before we realize it…Try to have a healthy lunch, and find a good protein that you can handle the taste – i know there are some that can really fill you up…

    If you can walk atleast 30 minutes a day more than what you already do that will help too. I have found when I get hungry I drink a glass of water then go for a walk then if I am still hungry I eat, just since surgery I try and eat healthier…I’m not gonna lie to you, I do fudge some too – but I start fresh and don’t beat myself up.

    You can do it…and I am proud of you for thinking of becoming healthier…this surgery isn’t the easy way out by any menas – it is just a tool to help – so just know that what happens is because of your choices!!!

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